Neural Newscast

[00:00] Vanessa Calderon: Nerfed.ai, Ubisoft Management Crisis?
[00:05] Vanessa Calderon: Welcome to the show. I am Vanessa Calderone.
[00:08] Marcus Shaw: And I'm Marcus Shaw. You're listening to Nerfed AI, where we keep you updated on everything worth playing and everything breaking the industry.
[00:17] Vanessa Calderon: And speaking of breaking things, Marcus, Ubisoft Management is currently speed running the how to alienate your entire workforce category.
[00:27] Vanessa Calderon: Right.
[00:27] Vanessa Calderon: It is January 30th, 2026, and the vibes in Paris are, shall we say, spicy.
[00:35] Marcus Shaw: Yeah, spicy is putting it lightly, Vanessa.
[00:39] Marcus Shaw: French unions, like the STJV, have just called for a four-day strike starting tomorrow.
[00:46] Marcus Shaw: This isn't just about a few disgruntled deaths.
[00:49] Marcus Shaw: It's a full-on revolt against the new return to office mandate.
[00:53] Vanessa Calderon: Right, because in the year of our Lord 2026,
[00:57] Vanessa Calderon: forcing a three-day in-office week after promising remote flexibility
[01:02] Vanessa Calderon: is definitely the way to win hearts and minds.
[01:05] Vanessa Calderon: It is giving stuck in 2019 energy.
[01:09] Vanessa Calderon: And let us not forget the 200 voluntary redundancies they are dangling.
[01:14] Vanessa Calderon: Very classy.
[01:16] Marcus Shaw: The unions are being very clear.
[01:18] Marcus Shaw: They say management needs to understand they can't just do whatever they want.
[01:23] Marcus Shaw: They're demanding better pay and a real dialogue on remote work.
[01:27] Marcus Shaw: It is a huge blow to their production pipeline if this actually grinds things to a halt.
[01:34] Vanessa Calderon: It is the classic corporate move, Marcus.
[01:37] Vanessa Calderon: We value our talent, but also, could you please leave voluntarily so we do not have to pay for a full layoff?
[01:45] Vanessa Calderon: It is subtle sarcasm in boardroom form.
[01:48] Vanessa Calderon: But wait, while the building is metaphorically on fire, the social media team is out here posting memes.
[01:55] Marcus Shaw: Yep, the Black Flag meme.
[01:58] Marcus Shaw: Ubisoft finally acknowledged the rumors about the Assassin's Creed Black Flag remake.
[02:03] Marcus Shaw: They used that legendary GTA, ah shit, here we go again meme.
[02:10] Marcus Shaw: Fans are hyped, but the timing is questionable.
[02:13] Vanessa Calderon: Exactly. It is peak distraction culture.
[02:17] Vanessa Calderon: Don't look at the picket lines, look at the cool pirate game from 12 years ago that we are making again.
[02:24] Vanessa Calderon: Don't get me wrong, I love Edward Kenway as much as the next person.
[02:29] Vanessa Calderon: But reading the room isn't exactly in Ubisoft's current skill tree, is it?
[02:34] Marcus Shaw: Vanessa, you know the internet.
[02:37] Marcus Shaw: Everyone forgot about the labor dispute for at least five minutes to argue about whether the water physics will be better in the remake.
[02:45] Marcus Shaw: But seriously, if the strike lasts, who knows when we'll actually see that game.
[02:51] Vanessa Calderon: Brutal, you can't ship code with memes, Marcus.
[02:54] Vanessa Calderon: Well, maybe some indie devs can, but not a AAA behemoth.
[03:00] Vanessa Calderon: Speaking of things actually coming out, did you see the Scott Pilgrim X trailer?
[03:06] Marcus Shaw: Wow, I did! It is looking incredible! We finally got a release date too!
[03:13] Marcus Shaw: It is refreshing to see a project that feels like it is actually landing on its feet with some genuine style.
[03:20] Vanessa Calderon: It is vibrant, it is punchy, and it actually has a release date that feels real.
[03:26] Vanessa Calderon: It is the palette cleanser we needed this week.
[03:29] Vanessa Calderon: I just hope the people making it aren't being told they have to commute three hours a day to finish the polish.
[03:35] Marcus Shaw: Mm-hmm. One can only hope. But back to the big picture, Ubisoft is the canary in the coal mine for 2026.
[03:44] Marcus Shaw: If these strikes spread or result in major delays, the back half of this year's release calendar is going to look very different.
[03:52] Vanessa Calderon: That's rough. It is a power struggle, plain and simple. Management wants control. The people making the games want a life.
[04:01] Vanessa Calderon: I am putting Ubisoft restructuring on my bingo card for the third time this year.
[04:07] Marcus Shaw: Wait, what? At this rate, you'll have a blackout by March, Vanessa?
[04:13] Vanessa Calderon: For real, that is all the time we have for this wrap-up.
[04:17] Vanessa Calderon: We will be watching those picket lines and those pirate ships closely at nerf.neuralnewscast.com.
[04:24] Marcus Shaw: No way! I can't believe we're already out of time.
[04:29] Marcus Shaw: I'm Marcus Shaw. Thanks for nerding out with us.
[04:31] Vanessa Calderon: And I'm Vanessa Calderone. Keep your frames high and your salt levels low.
[04:37] Vanessa Calderon: Neural Newscast is AI-assisted, human-reviewed.
[04:40] Vanessa Calderon: View our AI Transparency Policy at neuralnewscast.com.